I don’t want to be annoying I just want you to tell me you love me every second of the day. Some all it suffocating I call it insecurities. I wanna be your woman, singular, as in one. But you want women, plural as in 5. I want you to be obsessed with me, addicted to me. Cause you’re slowing slipping away and I can feel it and I’m scared. What do I do without you? People tell me to be independent and I always say I am, but in the truth I’m so god damn needy for you. I want you, all the time. I could stare at you for hours and never get bored. Explore the cracks and crevices of your flawless portrait. God I need you. I need you all the time. Is that bad? Cause if it is, then something so terrible has never felt so good. I wanna feel your hands on my waist and your lips on my hips and feel you grind on my canvas. Paint a picture with me and we’ll call it dysfunctional love. God we’re so broken but I got the glue and the tape and I swear I can put it back together. GOD just hold me, tell me you love me even if it’s a lie, cause I can see it in your eyes Everytime you say it that you don’t mean it anymore. I’m boring and lame and I say weird shit but it’s just because when I’m around you my hands shake and my knees get weak and turn all cliche and I feel like a little girl in middle school with a crush. Everytime you kiss me it’s like my first and Everytime you make love to me, it’s a brand new experience. With the freckles on your back that spell out beware and the signs are so clear but my choices and thoughts turn so foggy and I fall into the trap. So kiss me in the rain and you can be my rainman, put your curse on me and take over my mind cause I’m yours. Slap me around and tell me that I’m nothing cause it’s true…. Without you I am. What am I without you by my side? I’m a little girl who likes to get high and thinks I’m so deep and safistociated but in truth I’m just screaming out for someone to finally see that it’s all a lie and cause I’m hopeless. I’m wandering around trying to find the FUCKING PATH AND I NEVER DO AND IM LOST SO I RUN AND RUN AND IM SCARED CAUSE ITS DARK AND THE DEMONS COME OUT AND IM SHAKING AND MY EYES ARE BLOOD SHOT RED AND IM SWEATING, DRIPPING DOWN MY FACE and then I see you… And I’m at peace. In your arms, heaven. I could die right there because I’m so still and quiet and I can hear your heart beat and I tap my foot to the rhythm. That’s the spell. And it consumes you. You’re taking over my life and my mind and I can’t get out of the maze but then again, did I even want to in the first place? How could the devil be so sweet and how could something so bitter taste so right cause your wrap your tongue around mine and they do a little dance. My mind is running in a thousand directions at the speed of light and I know I can never be saved. But maybe death will save me and take me somewhere nice where everyone smiles and I’m liked for once… But I’d still hate myself. Number one enemy is me. Number one critique is me. I’m the devil, I see it in my eyes Everytime I see myself. And I say out loud, that’s me? That’s the person that people praise and say is so great? But the funniest part about that is that everyone thinks I’m great until they get to know me. Im a fucking monster and I’ll never change. But death will come soon and take me away from this place.
My heart is beating so fast and all I can think about is if you love me the same.
if britney spears toxic didn’t affect your life in some way i don’t want to know you